Nope, not that one.
The first one !
:)
Thankfully.
Had a bit of a hairy moment last night when I was very sure that baby 2 was on his way. Wishful thinking I suppose. Stil, everything feels, well, different, so you never know. I definitely feel as though progress is being made.
Part of me would love a natural-ish birth (would not say no to gas and air or an epidural if it got so bad, I'm not a nutter!) but in my heart of hearts I know I am destined to never have one. Apart from the fact that I know that my body is just too small for the big babies I seem to grow, I couldn't give it a trial run just to satisfy my curiosity. In my book that's just a bit irresponsible. A few week's discomfort for my baby's safety?
No question.
And we can bleat on and on about cesearean 'not being an easy option you know'....I know. Of COURSE I know. Bt the fact of the matter is that I ama healthy young lady who is likely to come out of it far better than my poor big headed sons who could get trapped in me!!
But anyway, I digress....
Today is my son's second birthday and I just wanted to iterate how proud I am.
Proud of the journey we have taken as a family in the last two years. Proud of my son's many milestones and achievements.
As I type this he is tucked up in his big boy bed having his morning nap after a morning of being entertained by balloons and his own imagination.
I cannot imagine the next year, the year after, the subsequent birthdays to follow. Six, seven, eight, nine....how is it possible that I could be the mother of a ten year old one day?
I feel lucky.
Lucky and emotional; sad that this is two already. So happy that we have made it this far, excited about hitting three next year.
I am hopeful that our futures are bright and that we have a lot of goodness coming our way.
Today for me is a time of reflection.
To reflect on the post-natal depression I struggled silently with for over a year, that I have just come to realise and get over int he last 6 months.
To reflect on those who have flitted out of our lives. Those who can no longer be with us anymore.
The people who have shown every kindness and those who have turned a shoulder in times of need. To see how strong I have become through the journey I have travelled mostly alone and the support I have had from those I love most.
To see the extremes we have faced and conquered.
The really great times - the holidays and memories made.
So much love.
So off I go on my day of celebration.
Today I celebrate my son, his achievements and how he has created in us a family.
How precious that is.
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